Beards and Moustaches
I don’t think anyone believes in the Great Moustached Threat (once Stalin).
A growing number of people have realized that you need to get as much petrol before it really goes dry.
The sequence of events where the following: two planes collapse two towers owned by the states: they decide to go and hunt a bearded guy who’s name is an average pen brand, as responsible for the realty destabiliser. After a bit (and no one recalls how) the hunt for the beard became a hunt for the moustache, who may have been an asshole but had nothing to do with it all.
The game alternates between beards and moustaches: the next guy to hit will have a beard (Iran), the next one will have a moustache (Syria), the next on again will have a beard, but in that case the colleague that left the kgb for a better place will take care of him. Beards and moustaches are really taking on, weirdly enough, above petrol wells and in places where petrol passes.
The name of the game is “Export Democracy”™
But it’s very expensive.
Going by bike is way cheaper
And you should cut your beard and moustaches.
You never know.